-CAMP PICS 06 (1)-

Charlie's Angels
My Darlings

Me, Jen & Nyd

Nyd & I

Ez, Lyd, Nyd & I

Karyn, Nydia, Ezra & I

Back from Camp...^^

Yelloo! I just got back from camp about 6somthing this evening and i'm feeling kinda tired, my eyes feel like it's about to shut but i won't allow it to.. I'm like that sometimes..Sounds crazy huh?

Oh, btw.. I still HAVE NOT found the song for the mime!!!n the service is 3days away...I'm seriously panicking lor!-.- *sigghhss* dun wanna think about it...T.T

Ermmm... the kuching pics are so NOT uploaded yet...haven't got the time..LOL^.^ I will post the camp pics soon tho..=)

Oh yar! Lydia, Nydia and Lynell dropped me at the Serdang KTM station today after camp. Lydia was driving and it was SCCAAARRrryyyy.....!!! Lydia's really....ermmm... WILD! haha... No, seriously.. it was so adrenaline-pumping, man! BUt the most hilarious thing is watching Nydia's and Lynell's reactions!!! Sooo super funny...!^^ (Btw, they're siblings...) They way they say "motorcycle!!!" spontaneously was SO SUPER DUPER funny!!! hehe....^^ It was fun tho... Thanks for the lift guys!=)

I'm seriously getting sleepy... Better go sleep before i fall sick. I haven't been getting the right measure of sleep i need...signing off... TAtaZ~

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........T.T

Hey hey hey.... I am soooo sleeeepppyyy...
I'm trying to finish my visa application online and it is SO freaking SLOWWWW....
It seems like it's moving slower than a snail..OMG..*siGHHHHHssss*

I need to finish up the song but i haven't!! I've been procrastinating as usual..and it DEFINITELY hasn't gotten me anywhere..
Clueless?? Ohkay.. the thing is i have to find this song for a mime we're doing for Christmas Service which is like a week away..
Considering my absence for 4 whole days next week(YOUTH CAMP), i have almost NO time left!! And i have NO..ABOSLUTELY NO idea what soundtrack to use..As a matter of fact, i don't even have a list of songs that i MIGHT be able to use!!!
haishhhh.....

And i just remembered that my bed is filled with some art n craft stuff i was doing last night..
I actually thought of going upstairs n fall straight into bed because my eyelids are saying "bye-bye" and mostly beacuse i gotta get up at 6sumthing tomorrow!!!
But now.... haish~

Kler... i better dun waste any more time here.. Better complete the visa thingie and go to dreamland.. Will be back with the pics..

P/s: i hope i dun have to say that a few more times.. hehe!=)

-Kuching Trip-

Hey there! I'm back after ages! Anyway, many things have happened since i last blogged..Where should i start...??

Hmm...I went to Kuching for holidays( 6th- 10th) and celebrated my birthday there for the very FIRST time.. At my very own birth place..LoL^^ I didn't remember my own birthday the night before the date itself..Nor did it hit me that i was going to celebrate my birthday right there, at my birthplace.. The birthplace i knew so little about. It was the 2nd time i've been there since i was born, which was way back in ...1987! I think i'm growing old..-.-

The trip was pretty enlightening.. It kinda cleared certain "mists" and "uncertainties" in my life.. Things that i've been struggling for a long time, now straightened out. My life was in a mess when i left KL..But i cam home pretty much contented and i think that it was all part of God's plan.

One afternoon, I was sitting in one of those beach-benches facing the sea. Not exactly at the beach but you know.. those that overlook the sea in all it's splendor. I was staying at a beach resort, so that explains it. Anyway, i was facing the sea and reflecting on the many things in life, the peacefulness overwhelmed me..It seemed like i was drugged by the gentle carress of the breeze, the waves crashing in it's own momentum..above all, the sky which was made up of light blue spreads splashed with dabs of white..=)

Year 2006 has been truly a ROLLER COASTER..It's been the most "roller-coaster-ish" year so far..^^ But i did learn a lot of valuable lessons. Both the hard way and also the easier way..=) Sometimes, i do wish that i didn't have to learn some of those stuff the hard way but i don't regret going through it because by going through certain things in life, we gain more strength, experience and life-inspiring lessons. I've made certain inspiring friends this year, who through their ways and their life has helped me to live better...To mend my ways and to live a life worth living, a life with meaning and with that i am truly grateful of the entrances of these people into my life. They might not know or realize that they have touched n influenced me in many ways, but i will be forever grateful.

I DON'T and will NEVER know what the future might bring but all i know is that it takes TRUST to guranttee us a smooth-sailing future..Trust in both God n ourselves. We always think of the WHAT- IFs. What we don't realize is that FUTURE is only FUTURE when it takes place. What our future is like..what it contains..., all depends on what happens at that "period" of time in our lives. This "period" will take place when..& ONLY when we have made a decision that "yeah, i am contented with what i have at this point of my life and there is not turning back". I have often read that we have an everflowing future, one that never runs dry..somehow, illustrated like a river. For instance, when we are in our 20s, we think of how our future with marriage & a family would be like. Then as we leap into our 40s, we wonder of how our future will be like, whether we'll be able to reach certain dreams, dreams that we've held since we were children. Whichever way, it all adds up to the UNKNOWN. The uncertainty of how our FUTURE will be like. So, i made up my mind to quit thinking of the future and just live life as it is..also to take things one step at a time.

I think i better stop..To grandmother-story-ish" hehe!=) I'll post up some pics of the trip in my next enrty. haven't uploaded them yet.. Till then,..CheErS~

Stupidity ~> the core of my existence..

It's been almost 2months since my last entry... and you wanna know why?! I seriously CANNOT....i repeat, CANNOT understand how a living human being, a homosapien could be as dumb as me... *Sighhhhhhhsss*
Kay, u must be thinking what in the freaking world am i blabbering on about.. My 2month disappearance had a very reliable reason behind it...~I FORGOT my username & password!!!

"What the.....???????!!" i know, i know...And how did i get in today??~I RANDOMLY typed a username & password....(-.-)

It's pretty sad huh? Sometimes, i wonder how i could even bring myself to do things such as these. Since we're at the topic of stupidity + me +dumb, I might as well make a list of all the dumb things i've done...

A LIST OF THE 3 MOST STUPID & EMBARASSING THINGS I'VE COMMITTED:

1. I bought a ktm ticket from Bandar Tasik ---> Kajang. Once i went through the gate, on my

way to the platform, I threw my ticket away! And it was after 1minute of waiting for the

train that i realised that i basically threw away the MOST important thing a train passenger

should hold on to.. "THE TICKET". I went back to the trash bin and picked up a ticket

which looked brand new, amongst the few top layers of papers...and i boarded the train.

It was when i got out of the train at Kajang that i realised that i had SO "intelligently"

picked up a ticket labelled, " bla...bla...bla... MIDVALLEY"!!! I didn't care to see what the

bla bla bla was...I was too caught up with MIDVALLEY..-.-

That wasn't the end of it. I told the ticketing man, received a good scolding, and was

fined RM10. Indirectly "fined" that it...cause i didn't pay RM10 because when i opened my

purse i didn't have RM10!!!! OMG, i tell you..They sort of imprisoned me inside the station

waiting for my mom to bring the money. My mom who couldn't care less, took her own

sweet time. I still couldn't see her after 20mins..-.- The man said i could just pay the price

of the ticket--> RM1.80 and guess what??! I had RM 1.80 exact amount! No more, no less...

Thank God i tell u... *phew*

2. I rushed to the washroom at a station which contained 2 cubicles. 1 cubicle was

"ROSAK" and the other was occupied. So, the most logical solution was to wait for the the

person to come out, right?? So, i happily combed my hair and the door opened at last...n

emerging was a GUY..And i was thinking, "What is he doing in the ladies??" Then, it hit

me..I was in the GENTS! This demonstrates how my stupidity can actually reach such

an alarming level!

3. Wore heels with short skirt - Walking down to flights of stairs - at an lrt station - in

the midst of everthing "living & breathing" - I publicly humiliated myself - i slipped

& FELL...Yes, u heard right...*sigh*

Anyway, a friend shared this verse with me yesterday and it really brought me back to reality. It exposed all the pent-up and locked-up feelings that i've been keeping in my turmoil of feelings. It made me realise how blind i've been & how faithful He's been. I thank God for sending a particular some1 into my life in this time of need and i really cherish it.

PROVERBS 3:5-6

" Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding,

In all your ways acknowledge Him & He will make your paths straight."

~LIFE~

This is my first post here on blogspot and to tell you the truth, i have no idea why i'm even starting one. I have this opinion that blogging one's heart out online, in front of the whole world is the most foolish thing anyone in his/her right mind could ever do. However, giving it the benefit of the doubt,I even attempted to do it on friendster and it quite obviously backfired.(You don't see it in my friendster account now, do you?) hehe=) That's cause i deleted it. It lasted what...?merely three months..or maybe four..It's not a BIG difference. Do the math: 3 + 1= 4.I have always wondered WHY and HOW some could actually bring themselves to strip in front of total strangers..You know, stripping the smiles,laughter,joy and most of all, MASKS and thus revealing the core of their very being and being ever so transparent. Why, the thought of that revelation scares the hell out of me.

But somehow, tonight..I realised that when we...:
- reach dead ends..
- have no one else to turn to except "me,myself and i"..
- feel like the world is caving in on us..
- are at crossroads and have no idea what to do..

we just need a let it out. Let emotions flow. Hmm...emotions are live rivers of flowing waters..It SHOULD be allowed to flow..freely..unbound......

AND, those realisations drew me to start this account. To start blogging.. To start writing what my heart feels..what my heart yearns for..what my heart needs to say.. It's just a pithole for all my dreams, joy, pain and thoughts. A place that'll hold my secrets for a long, long time. Therefore, i can apologetically say that i am VERY sorry for all the misconceptions and impressions i've ever had of you bloggers out there. Keep it up!^.^

WHAT IS LIFE?

HOW CAN WE EXPLAIN WHAT LIFE IS?

My heart says: It is a serene and precious gift from the Almighty whom owns all things on this earth. As a matter
fact, all the galaxies you'll ever find in any galactical atlas. A gift of love, given so mercifully. We
ARE priveleged. Far more than any of us can ever imagine.

Oxford dictionary states: (1) the state, condition of existing.
(2) human existence.
(3) life as most people live it.
(4) living things in general.

The conclusion i made was.. LIFE is just what it is.

- It is what we go through every day.
- It is the mistakes we make daily.
- It is the achievements we have, the trophies we win and the goals we try so hard to reach but sometimes fail.
- It is who we try to be.

- IT IS WHO WE ARE, the essence of our very making.

No matter how screwed up life can be sometimes OR all of the time for some, I guess we'll just have to come to right terms with ourselves. To actually, reach a point whereby acceptance exists.ACCEPTANCE of who we are. ACCEPTANCE of how we live daily. ACCEPTANCE of LIFE itself..and of what it is.

Through that, hope will surface. No matter how tiny the specks of hope are, it's very existence should be honored with gratitude. HOPE brings LIFE to the DEAD. HOPE brings another day, another chance at LIFE.

No matter how bad life is..It is still God's GIFT to us. One day,maybe one day... hope will turn into reality for some of us and life would be what we would cherish for all our days... Anyway, it IS a GIFT right? It iS supposed to be good.. But sometimes, mix ups do happen..LOL^.^

Whoa..I've written a pretty long first draft huh? hehe!=) Honestly, i don't expect anyone to read this.. like i said, it's merely a pithole of my thoughts. However, i would LOVE any comments, opinions, thoughts that you guys have. i would be impeccably thrilled to know what is going on in that head of yours..=) Will be back soon..~CHEERS~