Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Dear World

DEAR WORLD,

I have been in a disappearing act for the past (i don't know how many) months ey?
Looks like I'm backk/... "for now" =)

And then off I am again to some distant land of no return... who knows, i may even find my way back here again..

Life has be hectic as usual. When has it been otherwise? Maybe back in my first year of uni where everything was easy and taken care of. Financial blessings from parents and worries of maintaining a half full bank account never existed. Alas, that's why adults always say... enjoy while you can because life as a student is hardly life at all!

Does that mean I am an adult now?? NOOOOOOOooooo!!
I guess most times, one would pride oneself in being a mature being in thinking and perspectives but priding oneself in one's physical age??? *yelp*
The thought of it just leaves a bitter sting in my throat...

It was just a moment ago I remember saying..
"I wish I was 21. Then freedom is mine~!!"

Ironically (I'm sure most adults go.. tsk tsk),
I somehow wished I could be back in highschool.
With sports practices to go to.
Talks to skip and McDonalds in the middle of schooltime.
When the biggest worry was just...
"I hope that teacher won't spot me eating potato chips from under my desk!"

I guess time does fly.. And looking at people's facebooks accounts, it just dawned on me how different people are to who they used to be, how much they've grown and matured and developed..

Time doesn't wait does it?
I wish upon a wishing star..
I guess I won't be as luckly as Pinocchio.
We can't turn back time nor can we chase it.
I guess the best we can do is keep up with it.

Make the best of it...
That is what I intend to do.
I want to look back and be proud of who I'd become not regret at who I was.
So, time to get back to life and try to the hardest!

And count every blessing we have!

Xoxo,
Esther


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Exhaustion + Puke = Snore

I am soooooo exhausted..
It's been such a long day..
I need to go to the gym..
And read a book...
And learn a language...
but it's just impossible to squeeze it into my tight schedule...
Worked 12-3, 6-10. Slept at 4 am the night before.
I need TIMMMEEEEEEE!!!

Oh, i ate soo much after work that i couldn't even breathe...
I HAD to stick my finger down my throat to puke...
Thanks to Chris' toilet... I feel relieved...
AHHH.... now, i can go to bed in peace... lol

Night everyone *yawn*
Sweet dreams!

Chasing Time



It's been a hectic week but I'm glad all the crucial matter that needed attention were managed just perfectly! Documents, photocopies of passport, family health cover, form and forms and forms and the list goes on...

Anyway, the change in education that I was going on about in my last post is all settled now. I was in the midst of accepting the offer letter to do the Masters of Mediation and Conflict Resolution. Now that I have, I can openly say that I'll be doing that for 1.5 years starting Feb 2010. That brings me to the issue of my Bachelor of Pyschological Science graduation. I just can't believe how time flies... three years have passed but it feels like first year uni just started.

It's amazing how a chapter of my life has ended and being so unaware of this, reality checks just scares me! Then the question of what I have achieved in this 3 years.. I'm not proud of what I have achieved in this 3 years. So much more could be done and thus I am promising myself to achieve these things that I set out to do in the past years that have not yet come to pass.

I was never a sucker for New Year's Resolutions but 2010 will be a memorable year filled with extra efforts and extra hard work which "hopefully" yield extra fruits and achievements. A decade over millenium... hmm.. it seems like y2k just happened yesterday.

Oh well... I guess that's how time works.

Time NEVER waits.

Time works on CLOCKWORK where the next move is predictable, routine.

Like the hands of the clock that move in one direction, Time does NOT reverse itself.

Hopefully, we don't live our lives like CLOCKWORK where all is planned like how 1 comes after 12.

But still keeping in mind that life is ticking away and we should do the best we can with it.

I'm turning 23 this year.
Although it's in December 2010. It's still an increase in the second digit.
How old are you?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hello people! I'm back once again.. However, I doubt anyone's reading this site anymore.
Nevertheless... I shall discipline myself to update this for my own good. As in train myself to be consistent in doing something although it doesn't yield immediate or even useful visible fruits...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HOPEFULLY YEAR 2010 WILL BE ONE THAT IS EXCITING AND MEANINGFUL!

Personally, I started of this year very pessimistically due to various uncertainties in the area of family, education, love and other main areas in life. However, things have started to unfold slowly but surely. I'm still in the midst of managing certain changes in my life especially in the area of education...(which i shall update you about in the later posts). I guess the saying "time will tell" does reveal things which may be easily welcomed or disappointing even.

I just watched 'The Notebook" based on the romance novel by Nicholas Sparks on again. It just reminded me of all the uncertainties in life and choices that we are often forced to make at certain points in our lives which directly influences and determines what happens subsequently in this journey we call life. Some decisions we may be proud of, some we may not... But ultimately, it is about looking toward what the future holds instead of looking back and wondering why decisions were made the way they were.

Re-reading my previous posts just highlighted the fact that every decision I ever made had reasons behind it.. And whatever happens after that happens. All we can do is try to solve problems with other decisions based on reasoning at present. In other words, don't look back.

It's almost 4am now and i got to get up early tomorrow...
Looking forward to post something tomorrow...
GNight!