What am i doing here?
~ I'll answer that... cause i cannot go to bed with this load hanging off my shoulders.
Is wasting my time writing crappy stuff over here even worth it?
~ I'll answer that again... YES. Where else can i let out my pent up feelings? I don't believe in jotting down EVERY single detail of my wondrous life on this page amongst the millions of websites. But, i do believe that it's a place to release some emotions, feelings, beliefs, thoughts etc. etc. etc.
And obviously, since i'm here eventhough my brain, eyes and head are killing me proves the existence of a multitude of turmoils going on within me...
I AM anything but.... HAPPY.
Came home happy..
Ate my burger happily..
Felt tired but contented..
Felt happy even though i'd only get a maximum of 6hours of sleep..
Till i witnessed something.
Yeah..... and don't even try to guess, cause you wouldn't be able to..
Whoever who knows me and happen to read this, just don't ask WHAT or WHY cause you would not get a single valid answer from me. It would mean the world to me if you just DO NOT ask. I know it's weird writing all these and then asking u guys not to ask but it's just a place to pour out my soul to myself.. If you get what i mean. Thanks dears... =)
Sometimes, i wonder if the world is filled with lies.
Does deception rule mankind?
Does deceit lurk at every corner?
Even in the very pastures where i put my utmost trust in?
Or..
Is it just my senses that are over-working?
The subconscious part of my mind reeling off unknowingly?
All i know is that,
Our surroundings are no more genuine..
I do not know what's real and what's fake..
What i believe is true might just bounce back at me and stun me right in the face..
But still,
I cannot say for sure..
Isn't a question a question till we get an answer?
I have not gotten my answer YET and i doubt i EVER will
For the world is the world
And the world is a place where some questions are left unanswered
And i'm still asking the questions:
Is it deception or is it genuine?
Are they lies or merely truths?
I can't say for sure and will never know for sure.
Still holding on His love and guidance for:
HIS LOVE NEVER FAILS.
----------------------------------THE END----------------------------------
8 comments:
hmmm...sometimes i do wonder that as well but yeah, like what u said, the world will always be the world, no matter how hard u try to find, sometimes some questions just can't be answered...=) i'm still searching for answers as well...together we'll search! hehe~ love ya!! *hugs*
to lin: Thanks dear.. really appreciate it..yeah, we'll go through it hand in hand.. Isn't that what friends are for?? wait.. i mean, u're my little baby cherry eelin... haha!!!!
XOXO,
Esther
This is how life works i guess. You get to experience all the different kinds of emotions of life and see how it impacts u. I think tis is how God wans you to experience life by going through everything which will impact you in different kinds of ways and you will bounce back stronger than before knowing what you did wrong and in return look back and hav a laf bout it.. if u get wat i mean haha. Even i don't kno wat im sayin sometimes lol. Hav fun in the show while you stil can :)
......
"you will only see what you are looking for"
i know i havent been in contact with you for a while and im so so sooryy...but, this is what i thnk..
we only tend to believe what we want to believe. its doesnt matter if its a lie or the truth. human are complicated creatures. and to the extend of finding the way to life and the ultimate reason of our existence, everything can be a lie. u get what i mean?
i always tell myself that i don't like pink. but thats because i tell myself that. if i were taught from young to like pink thn probably i will nvr hate it. its just what you believe.
at the utmost end, what do you wnt to believe?
only put your trust in Him alone. for He is the truth.
do not hope on human, for no matter what, they will fall someday.
"the greater the trust, the greater the hurt."
your post inspored me to think. thanks hon.
To Gen: Hey darling! Whow.. u speak so maturely and i salute u!! *salute* That's very very true as well.. i get what u mean about how believing something can actually affect the way we think and act... And i guess you're right.. "the more you trust, the more you hurt" when let down by someone and something.. =) And yeah... sometimes, life itself seems like a lie huh? Some of us always try to believe what we want to believe and in the end of the day miss out on some other things that we thought may not even be feasible..=) Anwyay, i think what you wrote down is really meaningful! =) Thanks!! Hope you're doing fine!
To Clem:whow.. not bad!! Mr. Philosopher!lol..honestly, i think what u say is really true. And yeah.. i get what you mean.. it's like falling and learning all over again huh? hehe..Thanks lots for dropping me this comment..appreciate it! btw, i enjoyed myself at RAS! =)
hey esther...
what happen???!!! no la ..jk jk jk...
don't have to answer.stop glaring please.
anyway this is a super late comment..don't even know whether you will read this.but if you do...just rmbr that whatever that doesn't kill you,only makes you stronger.and just cast all your worries on God,followed by faith.it works!! :)if you r down,cheer up,if not keep it up!
hugz
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