Dear World

DEAR WORLD,

I have been in a disappearing act for the past (i don't know how many) months ey?
Looks like I'm backk/... "for now" =)

And then off I am again to some distant land of no return... who knows, i may even find my way back here again..

Life has be hectic as usual. When has it been otherwise? Maybe back in my first year of uni where everything was easy and taken care of. Financial blessings from parents and worries of maintaining a half full bank account never existed. Alas, that's why adults always say... enjoy while you can because life as a student is hardly life at all!

Does that mean I am an adult now?? NOOOOOOOooooo!!
I guess most times, one would pride oneself in being a mature being in thinking and perspectives but priding oneself in one's physical age??? *yelp*
The thought of it just leaves a bitter sting in my throat...

It was just a moment ago I remember saying..
"I wish I was 21. Then freedom is mine~!!"

Ironically (I'm sure most adults go.. tsk tsk),
I somehow wished I could be back in highschool.
With sports practices to go to.
Talks to skip and McDonalds in the middle of schooltime.
When the biggest worry was just...
"I hope that teacher won't spot me eating potato chips from under my desk!"

I guess time does fly.. And looking at people's facebooks accounts, it just dawned on me how different people are to who they used to be, how much they've grown and matured and developed..

Time doesn't wait does it?
I wish upon a wishing star..
I guess I won't be as luckly as Pinocchio.
We can't turn back time nor can we chase it.
I guess the best we can do is keep up with it.

Make the best of it...
That is what I intend to do.
I want to look back and be proud of who I'd become not regret at who I was.
So, time to get back to life and try to the hardest!

And count every blessing we have!

Xoxo,
Esther

Exhaustion + Puke = Snore

I am soooooo exhausted..

It's been such a long day..

I need to go to the gym..

And read a book...

And learn a language...

but it's just impossible to squeeze it into my tight schedule...

Worked 12-3, 6-10. Slept at 4 am the night before.

I need TIMMMEEEEEEE!!!

Oh, i ate soo much after work that i couldn't even breathe...

I HAD to stick my finger down my throat to puke...

Thanks to Chris' toilet... I feel relieved...

AHHH.... now, i can go to bed in peace... lol

Night everyone *yawn*

Sweet dreams!

Chasing Time

It's been a hectic week but I'm glad all the crucial matter that needed attention were managed just perfectly! Documents, photocopies of passport, family health cover, form and forms and forms and the list goes on...

Anyway, the change in education that I was going on about in my last post is all settled now. I was in the midst of accepting the offer letter to do the Masters of Mediation and Conflict Resolution. Now that I have, I can openly say that I'll be doing that for 1.5 years starting Feb 2010. That brings me to the issue of my Bachelor of Pyschological Science graduation. I just can't believe how time flies... three years have passed but it feels like first year uni just started.

It's amazing how a chapter of my life has ended and being so unaware of this, reality checks just scares me! Then the question of what I have achieved in this 3 years.. I'm not proud of what I have achieved in this 3 years. So much more could be done and thus I am promising myself to achieve these things that I set out to do in the past years that have not yet come to pass.

I was never a sucker for New Year's Resolutions but 2010 will be a memorable year filled with extra efforts and extra hard work which "hopefully" yield extra fruits and achievements. A decade over millenium... hmm.. it seems like y2k just happened yesterday.

Oh well... I guess that's how time works.

Time NEVER waits.

Time works on CLOCKWORK where the next move is predictable, routine.

Like the hands of the clock that move in one direction, Time does NOT reverse itself.

Hopefully, we don't live our lives like CLOCKWORK where all is planned like how 1 comes after 12.

But still keeping in mind that life is ticking away and we should do the best we can with it.

I'm turning 23 this year.

Although it's in December 2010. It's still an increase in the second digit.

How old are you?

A Deliberate Empty Post

Hello hello hello hello....... (echo)

Yes, as the title says... this IS a deliberate empty post.
Cause I really don't know what to blog about but I have to preserve this blog and make blogging a habit eventhough I have nothing to write about.. cause as some of you know, I have a tendency to just vanish and forget this site actually exists!

Ok, been back in Adelaide a few days now..
Everything's been great except the weather. Nevertheless, I'll try to enjoy it knowing that the sun won't be out for a long 3 months plus in winter.

So, just popping by to say HI and BYE!
Gotta run.. still don't have my internet.
I hope we get it soon *fingers crossed*..

~Ta~

12 HOURS TO ADELAIDE

Yes... 12 hours to take off..
Time to pack...
I HATE and DESPISE packing...
Goodnightt..

Perth + Boredom = Cam-whoring

Hello again!
This is my futile attempt in raising my blog to life AGAIN...
Yes, i know... i'm a hopeless blogger but i should.
An excuse... I didn't have the internet for a month now..

Some of you know i've been in Perth since end of December and THANK HEAVENS i'm going back to Adelaide this friday!

It's not that Perth is all that bad compared to Adelaide. I mean, to be honest and fair... I personally think Perth is way larger and metropolitan than Adelaide in every aspect.
Every suburb is a tiny town in itself and has it's own town council unlike Adelaide when you go.. "where you goin/ what you doin tomorrow?"

Answer:" I'm going to the city!!"
Which obviously means the austere Rundle Mall/ Rundle Street etc.
But in a way, Adelaide seems like home you know.. Mostly cause it's been two years there in that spot, no matter how dreary, quiet and boring it can get, it seems to scream " home" in a way, at least in Australia! In no way comparable to Malaysia of course!
And also maybe the friends and acquaintances..

So, Perth has been pretty boring, no internet etc.. So, we CAM-WHORED. Well, not always but sometimes when we go out.

PERTH CITY

YES, I was boreddd

Pretty Cool huh?

Yes, I even tried taking my dining hall light.. =S

Eunice & 1

Evelyn & I

Eunice

Poser

Three of us

This might probably be the most drop-dead-top-rated-boring post but i thought just let know what i've been doing here.... which is mostly cam whoring.. hehe.

Ansac day was pretty.. we went to sit by the river with hundreds of other people to witness the 45 minutes showcase of expensive fireworks. They were bautiful.. Too bad i didn't have a good camera with me.. ( which i vow to get when i'm abck in Adelaide). One needs to have one to capture nice and memorable moments you know.. okok..

Hear from me soon! bah! =)

Hair Gone Wrong

Get yourself ready for the shock of your life....
Well, at least... that was how I felt while i held my breath as the hairdresser took the rollers out of my hair. After anxiously waiting for an hour and a half while reading "The Hundred Secret Senses" by Amy Tan, I was just agitated.
You know how it feels not knowing how the outcome would be..?? ya..
(Yes, Eunice.. that book is not all that bad..) =)


Anyway, back to HAIR.

Omg... it is a disasterrrr!!!!
How come I'm never satisfied with my haircuts....??
It never turns out the way i expect it to.. instead the total opposite does!
Please tell me most of you do feel that way most of the time too..
Either that or it's just ME!!!

Anyway, here goes...

BEFORE

AFTER

Tada!!! Yes, Yes, Yes..... horrible!!

The curls look like those that stay at home AUNTIE/ MOMS have (no offense) and this style is quite LA-LA a.k.a. "SEE-HAM" ok!
I wanted something similar to my previous hair..just more accentuated locks/ curls if you know what i mean...

*sigh* what to do? I just have to live with it for the next few months...


-helpless-

Stupid nose

STUPID NOSE, COME BACK TO ME...

WHY DO YOU KEEP ON RUNNING...

STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!!!!!!

Nothing

Just decided to enter a post today since i've been missing...
My desperate effort to not let it die again..

I'm tired and sleepy and my nose can't stop running.... It's just so annoying!

Maple story level 13! (my gosh, can't believe i even started)

Jessie's coming back on the 3rddd!!! Can't wait to so you madam vet! Have a safe flight!

Welcome back Pei Nee from Penang.. See you this weekend!

I need to bathe now...
My sweat has evaporated and crystallized into minuscule beads of compounds which makes me feel real sticky and icky. Nothing a good shower can't fix!

Signing off now~
*yawn*

My Calf Hurts

OR

The latter of course though I wish I had the first one. They're just too cute!
Okok... I'm getting pretty lame posting up such pictures and all...
Just thought my blog needed some pictures to light it up a bit.
Too many words may seem boring. lol!

See the red muscles shown in the diagram??
Mine hurts like mad since 2 days ago..
Cuz of excessive skipping after a long break from it..
Plus yesterday's dancing... it hurts worse.
I have hip hop class in1 hour and a half and I'm so tempted to not go..
HOW?? *sighs*

I guess I should go because I've already paid for this month's fees and it would be a waste of money not going.
So I'm GOING.
I just realized I came here to reason with myself . Gosh...-.-
Sorry you had to read this/// loL!
Have a great day people!

.

In My Shoes for Today

I know it's freaking late... Decided to come online to do the usual "check up" on emails, facebook and others..

Anyway, got back from the social dancing thingie Darryl took me to a few hours ago..
Having mamak in the wee hours of the morning chatting feels good.
Catching up and feeling Malaysian all over again..
The oiliness and dirtiness of Malaysia's food stalls are just the things we need to feel Malaysian!
And mamak is number ONE... come on, ya'll gotta agree with me ey???
(JEAN FOO! Jealous notttt????haha... jkjk! XOXO)

The dance thing was real fun. I enjoyed myself. Thanks "HOT STUFF" for taking me there..lol! I'm sure you learnt as much as I did..

Got to learn lots of different basic steps for different dances.
I didn't know this Taiwanese 4 step rock and roll( i don't know what it's called) existed!
It's just so sad that 2 years of not dancing has erased my memory of what i've learnt in the past. I guess back to basics would be it from now on.



It's good to learn.. The feeling of learning something/ mastering something/ adding knowledge to oneself is something cherished by many.. if not, most people.. including myself.

okok.. Enough of me..=)
Oh ya, Leo Koh have a good flight back today.. Have fun back in Spore with your buds!

Birthdays

I, for one never really gave much thought to birthdays... till recently that is.
Maybe cause I'm turning 21 soon.

It is a time to celebrate one's birth into this wondrous world (though some may not deem it all that fantastic).
I never really did celebrate my past birthdays. The last cake i could recall blowing was.. I don't know 6 years ago or more...??
The last time i went out for a birthday dinner was....5 years ago? (i can't remember)
The only thing i remember the most was last years'... I ate instant noodles while watching tele ALONE.

Yes... pathetic i know. =)

Why??
I guess it's partially because i never really took mine much seriously.
And also cause my birthday is always way back in the year when it's holiday time.
I remember thinking as a child, "I never get pressies cause it's so far way back in the year and most of the time presents come combined with Christmas ones" lol!

But growing older, we all know it's not a time of presents nor gifts. It's a time to share or celebrate our birth with people close to us, to celebrate relationships and friendships built during the course of our lives.
Therefore, stepping into the realm of 21 very very soon... I wonder, who am i to celebrate it with besides family? Who are my real friends?

Being away in Australia and back in Malaysia for summer, many things and circumstances have changed. Friends are dispersed at different ends of Malaysia; some even to the extent of other countries or continents. As Peyton in OTH puts it, "people leave".

So, I guess I'm just gonna let my 21st slip away just like that. Why celebrate myself when being celebrated is the reason celebrations exist?

omg.. this is such a pathetic post.
Must be the flu and fever.
taaaaa...

Tired & Happy

Hey guys! (oh wait... no proclamation mark, very tired)..

BUT happy.... So (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) is allowed! =)

Been pretty productive today:
walked the dog, exercised and went for this latin fitness class thingie a.k.a. Latino Jam.
Yeah... I AM that desperate!
I LOVE eating (my pork chop-namer.. u know who you are) definitely supports that..
And i am on a mission... I will NOT give in! LOL
It is seriously a battle okay...

GLORIOUS FOOD & EATING vs. CONTROL & EXERCISE

I know I know.. it's pretty ironic. Malaysia the land of delicious and mama-mia food and i'm not eating like mad! This is the outcome of eating too much and being a snoring pig in Australia where it is so easy to put on!

Tomorrow's hip hop & Monday's latin... I can't wait!
Ok ok.. enough about myself!
Gonna log off now...
Just needed to write something... if not, this blog is gonna go into a comma again....

Putting yesterday's post aside, i just realized that the last post i entered was in December 2007 and i really can't believe how fast time has passed! It's been a year already!

We're now:

A year older
A year nearer to the regret for unrealized dreams
A year nearer to graduation
A year nearer to a family (optional.. haha! )
A year to children
A year to grandchildren
A year to death

Was just talking to a friend who's been going through a hard time.
And i know many of you out there may be going through a hard time; may it be studies, work, friendship, relationship, family, love, personality, housemates ..and the list goes on....
Do not give up and know that HE above all is always there for you.
1 Peter 5:7
" Cast all your anxiety on HIm for He cares for you"


He is faithful to the very end.
Ask and you shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened...IF the He thinks it's best for you.

Therefore, don't give up.
He is here ALWAYS.
Was here, is still here and will always be here; next to us.
Past, Present & Future.

REVIVAL IS HERE!

Yes Yes Yes... You heard right! This BLOG is revived once again....!!!
Hopefully it'll stay alive for longer than its other past life.

Being back in Malaysia for 3 days now, I couldn't help but ponder:
"How exactly do I view this country, one that i've been raised in and growing up in for the past 20 years of my life?"

Driving around the over-vehicle-populated town of Kajang, it felt familiar. The familiarity of being stuck in a traffic jam for almost an hour when the journey should only take 15 mins; circulating the town over and over and OVER again looking for ONE friggin legal parking spot felt so FAMILIAR.

Along with familiarity comes comfort. The comfort of being in a familiar place where life once gradually unfolded and yielded the revelation of character, hope, dreams, failures, fears so on and so forth.

So i guess the 2 words are FAMILIARITY and COMFORT.
However, it seemed foreign as well to a certain extent.

This is not much in relation to personal life matters but leaning more to the society and how different public treatments are. I was left flabbergasted at many instances. I wondered, "It hasn't changed THIS much in a year has it? It's impossible". But when i think this through thoroughly, it may have been just the adaptation of one to one's environment that may have crafted an expectation for other people to act certain ways, to have certain values to view things that are acceptable to one as acceptable in their eyes as well. In this case, me having an implicit expectation.

Well, probably things or people have not changed in this short duration of time instead I might have. My expectation as well maybe?

"We desire what we expect, experiencing the unexpected is undesirable. So are we wrong to expect or are people wrong to not be able to fulfill what we expect of them?"

I've found my answer. What's yours?

Suffering, Endurance & Hope

I'm here... at last...?? Sorry Ee Lin, Alvin and whoever who's been here and not found anything since my last post. Speaking of which, my "to-do-list"...I didn't accomplish one item on the list, not letting my blog die. And YES it die-ded again!! I'm so not good at keeping resolutions but i'll do it this time... (hopefully??) lol!

Talking about hope, i came across this verse today while reading Romans.


Romans 5:1-5 (RSV)

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.


The extract is really encouraging as well as enlightening...

Talking about hope... I think i wrote a poem on hope sometime ago last year in this blog..
But for your information..
More of my poems are posted on
http://www.8hop.com/profile.php?user=eternal-memories

kays... will update soon...

BACK TO LIFE!

Hey people!!!

Sorry to you guys who came all the way here and ended up staring at the same things splashed on this page the last time you came over...
Jessie was right! my blog was DEAD and now... It's ALIVEEEE!!!!!!

Partly because i was in the exam preparation mode for the past one month... Not like i studied everyday but i guess because i haven't been studying AT ALL the whole of this semester. A girl has to catch up, doesn't she? *smiles innocently* LOL!

Anyway, you would have guessed that me posting this would mean exams are OVER!! And i pray so so so hard that i would not have to take a supplementary. This is the first time seriously studied for an exam and it turned out so bad... But it's all in God's hands. I'll just have to wait and see.


Let's see... what else...??

It's SUMMMMMMERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Soooo HOT! But the sun feels good after those long months of winter... That is, IF it isn't scorching and laser-ing my skin into pieces.
So gonna enjoy my holidays before i fly back on the 8th..

Talking bout flying back.. I can't believe i'm saying this but, i think i miss MALAYSIA.
Was walking in a shopping mall today known as the "largest in Adelaide" but all i could think about was midvalley and wan U.. all the times we went to hang out and stuff..


My "to-do" & "to-go-to" list before i go home:

- picnic-ing in the Botanic Gardens
- borrow and read story books from the library
- finish "HOUSE"
- the beach: Glenelg/Henley
- finish composing a song
- watch a movie a day(on the comp)
- Harbor Town shopping with NO cash
- search for a place to move into next year
- spend precious time with friends
- cross my fingers and hope for good results
- not letting my blog DIE again...

so on, so forth.... etc. etc. etc.


Hmmm.... more updates soon! Ta~

unsubstantial substance

Hi people!!

I'm back after almost A month of disappearance...
And i am officially ALMOST SICK..
Note the word ALMOST...lol
And i have an assignment to finish by this Friday and more the next and next next and next next next week... and EXAMS are in a MONTH!!!
I think i'm so bummed... arrggghhh.... DOOMED!!!

Ohkie... i'm not here to complain.
Sorry for the SUPER delayed update.

So many pics to upload but the internetis so freaking slow...

Klaz..... i know this post has no substance....
Really no mood to type now..
My head hurts and my body's aching and i need to submit the assignment which i have not started on yet on FRIDAY.

Whopppieeeee!!!!!!

Tcare people...
I'll be BACK!!
~tatazzzz~

DISAPPOINTMENT

I am OFFICIALLY the piggiest pig EVER...


*sigh*

I was supposed to go for class...

Before i know it...

*KNOCK KNOCK* *KNOCK KNOCK*

*yawn~* stumbles out of bed and opened the door..

Patrick: hi!

Esther: Hi.....

Patrick: can i take the usb from u??

Esther: Yea... sure.. what time is it now??? *looks at clock* SHIT!!!! 11.40am???!!! (my tute is at 11) I'm so disappointed in myself..

Hence, the reason i'm sitting here blogging bout this....

disappointed and arrrrgghhh-ING..

Ta~

BU FASHION PARADE (Spring 07)

HELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I'm back after such a long time..


Things i've been up to for the past one week:

(1) Psychology report preparation portfolio
(2) Linguistics group report
(3) Monday - Thursday night practises for BU.
(4) Human Biology Report (completed at 5am yesterday...by God's grace, it's completed!!!!)
(5) E night practises on Sunday


It's been really hectic for me and i really THANK GOD for sustaining me both physically and mentally. He's been so faithful. Despite the extreme lack of sleep and rest for the past one week, i'm still as healthy as usual.. as active..as blur.....(-.-) lol! It means Esther is still Esther and that's what matters. Don't wanna go bonkers in any way!


So, God's been good!

BU was good and i believe than some people were saved that night through Pas Jane's short sharing. The dance was fun! Anyway, some of the photos of BU Night (spring 07).

Michelle did my hair before BU because they said that there might not be enough hairstylists on that day. So, here's Michelle's work of art themed "italiano in 50s for tourist character".

Side view (i really liked it Mich.. thanks!)

My hair stylist(mich) and i.. *applause* lol!

Chanelle & i with our costumes....(i looked like a ripe tomato!) And then, when i arrived for make-up, they said there were enough hair-stylist..so, they restyled my hair.

Hannah & i (the old lady look is so cool!)




After BU, Patrick, Lin, Leonard & i took the bus home... at the bus stop....




Leo's & i




Ee lin , Me & Leo's hand..-.-

More pics to be up soon..! =)


E-Night is happening on this Thursday night! I'm SO excited and i'm praying and hoping that God would be able to move in all His splendour on that night. Hopefully there'll be no glitches and that everything will go on smoothly by God's grace.

If you don't have anything to do on this Thursday....

VENUE: Eclipse Room (Lvl 4, Hughes Building)
DATE: 30th August 07, THURSDAY
TIME: 6.30pm
THEME: The Choice

*refreshments and transport provided

So, do consider coming if you want to know more about what "THE CHOICE" is gonna be all about...

I'm SO tired... only slept 5hours yest cause of my BIO REPORT la!!! I really need to zzzzz....

Good NightzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...

Why PIGS can't wake each other up

I'm so disappointed in myself....

MC & i are PIGS!! lol...



Esther: oh... late already... wake up wake up..!!

MC: okie okie...

Esther: i'm gonna sleep a bit more, wake me up k? we can't miss the bus.

MC: okie okie okie

After 25 minutes.....

Esther: Shiitttteeee!!!!! We missed the bus!!!

MC: Shittteeee!!!!

this convo repeated TWICE!! omgg.... we were both soooo disappointed in ourselves. Did my tute, then didn't go...
*sigh*

Oinking off~